Men think I know nothing about cars. I get cat fur on dark clothing. Water gets up my nose. My printer won’t work without a colour cartridge even though I want to print in black. Fruit squishes in my uni bag. People are jerks to my friends. Plane trees start spitting their pollen out. Kevin Rudd delivers ridiculous faux-slang in his speeches and remarks. The library closes early. I am forced to eat tinned lychees. I’ve just had a shower and I’m sweating before I’m dressed. The plane is landing and my ears won’t pop. Flies hide in my coffee. Things that I should have eaten go off in the fridge. I put things in my diary at the wrong time and miss appointments. I’m in a competition and I don’t even know it. I’m halfway through a thought and I get interrupted and forget it. I can’t find my glasses. I know I’ve been flaky. I know I’m about to get done over and I can’t do anything about it. I am unintentionally cruel. I can’t remember the words. People don’t take risks when they should, and do take risks when they shouldn’t. My wardrobe malfunctions.