On account of clinical placements we are all over the place, and for much of this five week block I am minding my friend’s dog. And bunny. This is how it has gone, so far.
Day 1.1 Dog pleased to see me. Not at all surprised. Bunny ambivalent. Fed dog too much.
Day 1.2 Woke up covered in dog. Unable to get out of bed. Lost dog. Found dog. Arrived late.
Day 1.4 Returned to bed at 4am to find dog nested inside sleeping bag. Removed dog. Entered sleeping bag. Abdomen immediately covered by small dog. Unable to close zipper on sleeping bag. Dreamed of Sigourney Weaver in Aliens.
Day 1.5 Went home for weekend. Own dog interested in smell of other dog. Cats filled with disdain. Own bunny unusually friendly.
Day 2.1 Dog’s parents report absentee bunny. Bunny located beside food bowl. Dog not so impressed by my presence.
Day 2.2 Bunny AWOL. Found hole in fence. Took dog to find bunny. Lost dog. Returned to flat petless. Deep sense of failure. Dog at front door at 11pm. Spent 45 minutes removing burrs from dog and blanket. Bunny in bedroom at 4am. Plugged hole in fence by torchlight. Closed back door.
Day 2.3 All animals present at roll call. Stunning day. Took dog to beach. Dog covered first in spit of large dog, then rolled in sand. Dog now like salty, sticky, sandy lamington. Washed dog. Blow-dried dog.
Day 2.4 Bought bag of bones for dog. Bunny missing. Strange crunching noise from behind fridge. Moved fridge. Found bunny. Found power cord chewed down to copper wire. Found earth wire of fridge chewed through. Found duct tape. Considered using duct tape to restrain suicidal/homicidal bunny. Fixed electrical stuff instead. Barricaded fridge access point with cordial bottles and egg cartons.
Day 2.5 Met better half and own dog for lunch. Own dog completely fixated on other mother. Almost like I have no dog. Friend returned for weekend, locked door for which I have no key. Jumped over back fence and broke in through back door. No response from dog. Considered new career as catburglar. Decided two cats is plenty. Dog bedhopping all night.
Day 3.1 Dog suddenly unimpressed by my recently-acquired ability to throw ball in straight line. Dog trampled through mud puddle. Dog paws washed.
Day 3.2 Dog completely uninterested in ball retrieval. Spent much of own time retrieving ball. Bored.
Day 3.3 Dog limping down stairs. Careful inspection of paw revealed nothing but a sore paw. Dew claw trimmed. Perambulation cancelled.
Day 3.4 Limp resolving. Bunny unusually friendly but no longer eating carrot. Dog eating carrot instead. Vacuumed house. Dog hilarious. Bunny lurking near power cords. Duct tape on standby.
Day 3.5 Woken at dawn by bunny squeezing between air mattress and wall. Scrabbling noises. Lay very still to avoid squishing incident. Bunny most pleased with self. Despite early waking, still almost late to school. Rescued by awesome friend with coffee.